Missionaries aren't perfect...

It is no challenging thing to often think only about oneself, I find. It is odd, really, that such a thing can happen with such ease and regularity. I am constantly surrounded by people; talking and interacting with them, yet I seem to forget about their sentience. How foolish and selfish this is! My entire calling is to care about others: to preach the gospel to them for the edification of Christ's Bride and the saving of lost souls, yet I am so often worried about the things in life that matter least.
What ought I say to this or that person; where will the resources for this or that endeavor come from; when must I do this or that thing; how should I address this or that problem? What useless and wasteful questions these all are. What manner of man am I to lie awake at night pondering some doctrine or other when there is a place that my Lord is not praised? There is so much of my self left in me. As long as I am locked within this most vile flesh, I shall be tied to its carnal desires, and there shall be sin within me! No greater misery could befall any person.
Living under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, one would think, would come naturally. What a misfortune that not all men become as the Apostle Paul upon his salvation, preaching at his first opportunity after his sight was renewed.
Oh, to speak of the things I see the world doing! To tell men of the danger they are in, should they not repent and believe; to tell them that God will not be mocked by their disregarding His sovereignty and holiness. Yet I so often stand idly by when something must be said, in fear of the opinions of men. Oh, to seek only the Glory of Christ Jesus, whom God raised from the dead!

I guess prayers to trust in the Spirit to lead and to strengthen, and to count it a blessing to suffer -- be it physically or otherwise -- for the name of the Lord.

May God's face shine upon you all,
Dave